But what happens when those expectations don’t align with who you truly are?
This month, we’re exploring the journey of making peace with your authentic self—spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly striving to meet religious standards that don’t resonate with your soul, I want you to know this: You are not alone. God created you with purpose, and your journey of faith is meant to be deeply personal, not just a performance to please others.
Let’s explore how to embrace your true spiritual identity and move beyond the weight of church expectations.
Church expectations aren’t necessarily bad—structure, tradition, and community can be beautiful parts of faith. But when these expectations become rigid, judgmental, or disconnected from your lived experience, they can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or inauthenticity.
Here are some signs that you might be struggling under the weight of church expectations:
No matter how much you pray, read scripture, or serve, you still feel like you’re falling short. You might carry guilt for not being “on fire” for God in the way others expect.
Do you feel the need to filter your thoughts, emotions, or experiences when you’re around church members? If you fear judgment or rejection for expressing doubts, struggles, or differing beliefs, this could be a sign that you’re not fully free to be yourself.
Faith is meant to evolve, but some church environments resist change. If you find yourself questioning old beliefs or developing a deeper, more nuanced faith, you may worry that you no longer “fit in.”
If your relationship with God feels distant, it might not be because you lack faith—but because you’ve been practicing faith in a way that doesn’t align with who you truly are.
Deep down, you may long for a spiritual life that feels more honest, liberating, and deeply personal. This longing isn’t a sign of rebellion—it’s an invitation to rediscover faith in a way that feels true to you.
Once you recognize that you’ve been living under expectations that don’t serve your authentic faith, the next step is to make peace with your true spiritual identity.
Here’s how you can begin this journey:
Faith is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It’s okay to ask questions, wrestle with doubt, and explore different ways of connecting with God. Your spiritual path is uniquely yours.
Take time to reflect on what aspects of faith bring you peace, joy, and connection. Ask yourself:
One of the hardest parts of embracing your true spiritual identity is the fear of what others will think. But remember this: Your relationship with God is not up for debate. People may not understand your journey, and that’s okay. You were not created to fit into someone else’s expectations—you were created to live in truth.
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Seek out communities, mentors, or spiritual care coaches who encourage authenticity and honor your evolving faith. There are people who will love you for who you are, not who they expect you to be.
At the core of this journey is a truth that cannot be shaken: God delights in the real you. Not the performance. Not the polished version. The real, questioning, evolving, growing you. Let that truth guide your steps.
If you’ve struggled with church expectations and wrestled with feeling “not enough,” I want you to hear this:
Making peace with your authentic self doesn’t mean abandoning faith—it means embracing it in a way that aligns with who God created you to be.